Greenspeak Fans Retaliate

Greenspeak devotees surrounded the Thomas household once again today apparently shaken by the swift adoption of the rival moniker, standing outside their Astoria apartment the anti-Bernankular leader shouted in defense of his leader... “The imminent declaration of Mr. Greenspan's commencement into retirement necessitates the need for future statements by the incumbent, and, linguistic stylings are bound to generate idiosyncrasies; however, the initial momentum of this tradition will remain the standard and a monument to his stature. Its substandard replacement , i.e., Bernankular, historical data has shown, may change current valuations and future trends but we will transition smoothly, secure with the knowledge that Greenspeak is the predominant..." The speech was interrupted as the crowd spied Jay through the window. The Greenspeak crowds broke into chaos chanting. . . DOWN WITH JAY THOMAS, DOWN WITH BERNANKULAR!!!!”

Jay Thomas and the leader of the pro-Greenspeak movement are scheduled for peace talks this weekend as Greenspeak supporters continue to assail Mr. Thomas. “I told them, look man, I can’t even understand your conundrums as you’re yelling at me. Speak in the Bernankular!!" Talks will be held on Roosevelt Island during half-time of Jay's rugby game. This leaves a solid 15 minutes for negotiations.

Mr. Bernanke was oddly unavailable for comment but rumor has it he was last seen at Princeton with a doughnut in one hand a bagel in the other shaking his head and muttering, “of course, the choice IS clear.”

Markets didn't know how to respond. Bernankular has been translated into 150 languages and Morse code to date."