"If you don't look good, Jay Thomas, I don't look good"

World renowned hair stylist Vidal Sassoon, one of the most influential hair stylists of the 1960’s and proprietor of many high fashion boutique’s worldwide announced today in a press conference that all proceeds going forward from his empire will be donated to the Bernankular movement. “I read about Mr. Thomas and his good hair day. A man of such genius should never have to suffer such indignities as being locked out of house and home by these, these Greenfellow people. What if it had started to rain? The wet look is so 1985. I will give all my money to this man who knows the power of hair. I will become his personal hair stylist. Mr. Thomas – you will have a perfect coif from now until the day I am cryogenically frozen along with my fellow fashion friends in the hopes of achieving everlasting life.”

Mr. Thomas celebrated by treating himself to a deep conditioning treatment while listening to some hair band music.