Ambush! Radical Greenspeakers Abduct Jay Thomas!

The events that followed were relayed through various eyewitness sources and may be upsetting to small children and peace loving hippies.

Upon arrival on the Princeton campus, Jay Thomas and his league attempted to blend into their surroundings in order to not arouse suspicion, a challenge as the team had packed only three Lacoste Sweaters and a lone pair of khakis. “We’re not at Rutgers anymore,” cried Jay as he pulled the Green and Pink striped sweater with the highly recognizable insignia over his head and zipped up his Docker pants.” Sadly, these may have been the last words uttered by our stylish yet manly leader.

After climbing the ivy covered steps to the Economics department, Jay and his band traced what appeared to be a trail of sprinkles and toasted coconut crumbs to the office of Mr. Bernanke. Witnesses say Jay uttered a primal scream and pounded down the door only to find a new Greenspeak militia waiting for him. Chaos ensued as ‘Mean and Green’ began babbling at Jay incoherently. “I was so confused, I just couldn’t understand what they were saying,” remarked one witness who refused to be identified, “I just covered my ears and prayed to make it stop.”

We don’t have a clear picture of what happened next but when the incoherent babbling stopped, Jay Thomas was gone. Greenspeakers have not taken public responsibility but law enforcement officers are monitoring Fed websites for ransom information.