Affleck-Damon Take on Harvard . . . Again

Dynamic duo and long-time companions Matt Damon and Ben Affleck once again took on Harvard University as they joined the Bernankular cause. A righteous Mr. Damon spoke, "First, we had to fight for a Living Wage . . .Now this!! Down with Greenspeak!"



Ben Affleck's activism has more personal roots as he was introduced to the cause first-hand from Jay Thomas as Mr. Thomas was his Krispy Kreme Crisis counselor in Fat Kids Anonymous, a 12 Step Self-Help Network for adults who were obese children and adolescents and who still suffer from Fat Child Syndrome ("FCS"). "One day, I had this entire box of donuts and cupcakes just staring at me and I called Jay for help and all he kept talking about was Ben-ankular this and Ben-ankular that, and I realized, yes, I do speak quite eloquently and deserve to have people speak like me. Have you seen Armageddon? Then I realized he was talking about some guy named Bernanke, but he saved me from eating 2 dozen donuts while crying like a baby, so I'll support his cause. Go Bernankular!"

Harvard refused to negotiate regarding Greenspeak but is considering offering counseling for FCS. Accordingly to the Center for Disease Control, FCS affects over 1 Million young adults through-out the industrialized nations.